The Brilliant Dr Gaster
by mysteriousmacguffin
Summary: WD Gaster is unquestionably talented, formidable and intelligent. He's also a huge dork. Join him and his brothers Sans and Papyrus as they struggle with questions of science, life and how to work basic appliances! [Pre-canon, fluffy, continuity may or may not apply]
1. Pie-ano!

Gaster was an elegant man. His back was always ramrod straight, his white lab coat spotless and pristine. If he hadn't pursued science, Sans thought to himself, he had the discipline and talent for music. He certainly had those hands – long, elegant pianist's hands...

...The shorter skeleton snapped out of his reverie as he walked in on what was possibly the most un-Gasterlike scene he could have imagined. The butterscotch-cinnamon pie Queen Toriel had so painstakingly prepared for them was in far more pieces than a pie should be and laid out in a neat long line on the table. Alligator clips were stubbornly planted into the slices, snaking back to...was that a printed circuit board? Was that a printed circuit board connected very unsafely to Gaster's sleek, dark laptop?

And was that a Temmie draping itself across Gaster's shoulders?

"Ah, Sans!" the Royal Scientist called happily. "Come see what I've made!"

"...a mess and a waste of pie?" A growling noise came from Sans's abdomen. Considering he didn't have a stomach or any other internal organs, that was strange, but he was far too hungry and confused to notice that.

"No, no, no!" Gaster gestured expressively with one hand and nearly knocked the poor Temmie off him. "My computer recognises that circuit board as a keyboard and I wrote some code that trivially takes keyboard input. It's a very simple piano program-"

"-so that's why you chopped up the queen's pie?"

"Into 88 pieces, yes, so I can play it properly!"

"do we not have 88 things of _anything else_ in this lab you can clip to that board? because i didn't have breakfast this morning and i was really, really looking forward to that butterscotch-cinnamon pie..." Sans sighed loudly, trying to catch the other skeleton's attention, but he was too busy experimenting with his creation. Maybe experimenting was too kind of a word, come to think of that, since the dignified, elegant Royal Scientist was standing there licking his fingers and playing a silly tune to amuse the Temmie. It didn't do much to console a very hungry scientist, but at least Gaster and the Temmie seemed to be happy. That was something.

"What's that? You like that tune?" Gaster cooed to the Temmie. "Okay, well I'll record it for you. Drop by the lab later in the day, okay?" He set the little monster down with infinite gentleness and it scampered away.

Sans closed the lab's door with a soft click. "now that the temmie's gone, can we eat? no way you're using all 88 keys."

Gaster looked almost pained. "Very well, if you _must_ eat this." He carefully unclipped one of the slices of pie at the very end of the table and handed it to Sans.

"bro, is this it?" Sans practically inhaled the slice. His non-existent stomach was not appeased.

"Can't you understand how proud I am?"

"yeah, sure, bro, but can't you understand that i haven't actually eaten and you used the food toriel made for us specially _because_ you keep forgetting that you need to eat to make a frickin' musical...thing?"

Gaster's face fell. "Fine, but I have a name for it!"

"oh, really? at least the mashed-up bits of musical instrument i'm eating have a name. good to know, i guess."

"Yeah, it's a pie-ano!" Gaster beamed proudly. Sans facepalmed.

"bro, your punning needs a ton of work. a skele-ton."


	2. Something Electrical

**Author's note: So, I believe some waffling and a vote of thanks are in order.**

 **I am a long time reader but this collection of fluffy nonsense is basically the first thing I'm confident enough to show to strangers, since I'm pretty self-critical. As such, thanks for the reviews, follows and favourites. I know it might not seem like much, but it does mean an awful lot to a poor newbie like me.**

 **(Also, apologies in advance: I tried my best, but this chapter is not quite as funny as the last one, although it still has fluff and Gaster being a dork. Sorry!)**

* * *

The three brothers had dragged the strange machine out of the garbage dump and unceremoniously dumped it on their rickety kitchen table. For something so small, it seemed to be leaking a disturbing amount of water; Gaster was worriedly mopping up the spill with a towel. Papyrus was fiddling with a screwdriver, a crazed look in his eye sockets. Sans just sat there, a half-grin plastered on his skeletal face.

"Paps, don't take it apart. Not until it's dry, okay? It looks electrical," said Gaster, still distractedly mopping the machine.

"looks electrical. heh, bro, i thought you were supposed to be the smart one and all."

"Sans, I've been working on the blueprints for the Core all day and I've drunk my own body weight in coffee trying to stay awake. I think I've earned the right to not English."

"Brother, do you think we could test this by putting spaghetti in it?" Papyrus's eyes gleamed. Gaster glared at him.

"If you want to electrocute yourself, sure," he shrugged.

"we're skeletons. is there even that much to electrocute?"

"Do _you_ really want to be the first test subject?" Gaster was tired, overworked and not really in the mood. One eye glowed a dim orange.

"Brothers, brothers, let's not fight! I mean, you might be hungry and that might be making you grumpy and I could make you some spaghetti-"

"paps, i love you but your cooking is im-pasta-ble to eat," said Sans. "wanna go to grillby's?" Papyrus nodded eagerly. "dings, you coming?"

Gaster shook his head. "Work."

"we'll get you some more food though, yeah?" Sans and Papyrus shuffled out of the kitchen, closing the front door behind them with a soft click. The oldest skeleton barely noticed, but then again he hadn't noticed that he'd polished the machine to distraction. He pulled out a battered pad of paper from his bag and a pen from somewhere deep in his coat, and began to make more sketches, scribbles, suggestions. The Underground _needed_ power and it couldn't rely on battered pre-war generators forever. Still, a project of this magnitude was absolutely overwhelming.

Gaster looked at the machine again, mopped it again, trying to understand what it was.

It was cuboid. And electrical. That was super helpful. _Not_.

But if it was cuboid, it had symmetry. If it had symmetry, that would make his life infinitely easier. His skeletal grin stretched into a real one, his eye sockets sparkling. He could work out how humans created and used electrical appliances. That would be a step towards powering the Underground.

* * *

The scientist frowned. His pen had run out of ink. What's more, it felt very different in his hands – much more unwieldy. And his chair was shaking. He turned to stretch and found himself face to face with Sans.

"you're supposed to eat the hot dog, not write with it," he said softly.

Gaster looked down at his hands. The pen was laid neatly across his notes and sure enough, he was trying to write with his food. It was only as he looked at the scene that he realised how tired and hungry he was. Slumping into his seat, he stuffed the hot dog into his mouth and marvelled as its magic stroked the insides.

"NYEH HEH HEH!" His littlest brother was trying to snicker, but Papyrus had never quite mastered the art of the indoor voice and their little old house only had thin walls.

"'so funny, Paps?" Gaster mumbled. Today had really taken it out of him.

Papyrus couldn't go anywhere without making noise or bumping into something, and right now was no exception. "You're the most respected scientist in the Underground, but you get totally lost in your world."

"you're also one of the only people i know who's genuinely thrilled to do vector calculus," Sans added.

"Yeah, yeah. At least I get shit done."

"Is that before or after you think you can write with everything?"

"or turn everything into a musical instrument?"

"...Both. I really am that efficient." Gaster turned to his brothers and smirked. Privately, he was laughing at himself, but it was fun to show off to the two younger skeletons. After all, he was still their big brother. "And even if I did try to write with my own meal, I also figured out how this machine works without ever laying a hand on it!" He thrust a sheaf of papers at Sans, while Papyrus made his way over to the strange block. It was dry now and Papyrus did his best not to get caught up in the cables as he plugged the machine in.

"nice, you went into so much detail with the equations," Sans grinned. "i really think we can use this to help build the core."

"Actually, we saw a machine like this at Grillby's!" Papyrus said, his eye sockets sparkling. "I think humans use it to burn bread! Look, I'll show you!" And with that, he shoved spaghetti into the machine's two slots, pressing down a big grey button on the front.

Gaster could have facepalmed. "You're telling me that I set up and solved Maxwell's equations for a toaster, but couldn't figure out how to turn it on?"

Papyrus just nodded and snickered.


	3. Skeletons Can't Sing

**A wild update appears!**

 **My actual degree has been kicking my ass - I've had assignments, lab reports, lab interviews, exams and now _even more exams_ (wahey!) so I've been focused on that. That said, thank you to everyone who read, reviewed and favourited this. I appreciate you all.**

 **I've also finished this year's required lab work. On one hand, yay! I don't have to spend every Friday agonising over data for 6 hours! On the other hand, I now need to find new material for this story - perhaps an actual coherent plot...?**

 **I'm not too happy with this chapter. I'm considering heavy editing.**

* * *

Skeletons can't sing. That was a truth universally acknowledged.

For a start, they didn't really have anything to sing _with_. Being totally skeletal, they lacked vocal folds of any sort. In fact, scientists were still trying to work out how they could speak.

Beyond that, singing was hard even for monsters with soft tissue. Very few sounded any good without training. For monsters who didn't have vocal cords, it was even more difficult.

So Papyrus was currently wondering _why_ Gaster was twirling around their kitchen giving a rather...unique performance. His singing voice sounded like sandpaper scraping against brillo pads. Not that Papyrus particularly minded, but his brother was usually far too embarrassed even to try humming a tune.

Come to think of it, he'd been acting strangely all day. He'd been in unusually high spirits, even praising his youngest brother's spaghetti. Of course, his spaghetti _was_ incredible, as befitted the Great Papyrus, but usually his brothers were far less vocal about their appreciation. And they made the oddest faces while eating it! It must be because they simply couldn't appreciate the true magnificence of his cooking!

Sans had been in an exceptionally good mood too, making even more puns than usual. The two scientists had been talking about _scripts_ and _variables_ and _functions_. The Great Papyrus of course knew what all of these things _were_ – not that he could put them together, but sometimes it seemed like his brothers struggled a lot too...

"...If you'll excuse an expression I'll use, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love with a wonderful chi!" sang Gaster, twirling wildly and bumping into the wall. Papyrus couldn't stifle a "nyeh heh heh"; his brothers might seem more or less calm to other monsters, but in private they were all clumsy. This being Papyrus, he had no indoor voice and his snickering rang around the little kitchen.

Gaster dusted himself off and drew himself up to his full formidable height. If he'd had a bad day at the lab, he might have glared at his little brother. As it was, he tried his best, but his face cracked into a smile nonetheless.

"Give over. I've been working for months on this project," he said. "But it's over now and it seems to have gone really well!"

"EXCELLENT!" Papyrus still hardly understood what his brothers were so happy about, but it made him happy to see them smiling and genuinely unwinding for once. "I made us spaghetti to celebrate!"

"thanks, bro. wanna eat?" said Sans, feet up on the table. He seemed truly relaxed, not his usual apathetic self...something different.

Something Papyrus hadn't seen for a long time.

He doled spaghetti out onto plates and the three brothers sat down at their rickety kitchen table. Gaster and Sans kept talking about their data analysis and errors, the lights in their eye sockets flashing with pride. For once, they didn't even make strange faces when eating his food!

They went to bed that night content. As Papyrus tucked himself under his covers, he looked up at the dark ceiling and dreamed – of projects, of science, of being able to spend time with his brothers when they weren't just exhausted from a day at the lab.

Now that this project was over, they'd be able to take time off. Do things together.

He looked forward to that.


End file.
